Thursday, October 13, 2011

Grab your pail

It seems like when it rains, sometimes it pours down buckets, you know? My back has been giving me big pains lately and now we have a small bug. I was hopping we could get back on a schedule this week, but it looks like we may be another week of hit and miss. But like my husband says, “life happens when you are busy making other plans” so I guess I need to view this in a half full sort of fashion.

We have worked on some fine motor skills but with being so immobile for more than a week, I also will admit we have watched several shows of Super Why, Word World and Clifford. I am also trying to figure out ways to really teach the days of the week and months. The way I want to teach is really going slow in that regard. Off to figure out a better way. We continue to work on shapes and letters, though the only letters we like are ones in our name. LOL

The rain has let up so hoping tomorrow the ground will be dry enough to dig in the dirt a bit outside, a project I know some little hands will love. It means I can sit back and watch her play outside in the fresh air too. We have been very housebound lately.

Also tomorrow I hope to make some apple butter and some dried apples. I plan to be up early. LOL I have a busy weekend planned with sorting, canning and even a birthday party or two. Sometime I also need to find a few minutes to study and sew. I am going to attempt to make a Tangled costume for Bear. I plan to be a bumble bee myself and Bob wants to be a renaissance man.

A friend recently disclosed that she is suffering from PPD. I suffered with it also, it's a very true condition. I can’t say that I am surprised by her revelation. Having suffered myself I could see the deck stacking that way. She is such a good mom, she will be fine. I know the best thing for me was talking with others that also suffered with it, a sort of validation I guess. Knowing I wasn’t alone and that my feelings were honest feelings and to recognize them. It also helped having a supportive husband. When I am in pain or depressed I tend to want to wallow, and the best thing for me was to pull myself up and get into a routine. My doctor had me write a list of things that I enjoyed doing and to do them. I wasn’t able to breastfeed my daughter, and in my mind (and the minds of others too) that meant I had somehow failed. While I think breastfeeding is best, I am now a STRONG advocate of doing what is best for mom too. Ultimately the family is happier and functions better when Mom, the queen of the castle, is happy and feels like she is taking good care of her family.

I know part of what can send me spiraling is having too much on my plate.  Sometimes I put it there myself and other times I allow others to fill it up.  Some things are commitments that you can't neglect, like taking Grandma to the doctor or grocery shopping.  really those are small things, they just seem like a lot when my plate is heaped high.  It's all the little things or obligations I say yes to and it's very hard for me to say no.  I want to help and sometimes I just think people expect things of me.  Part of my feelings for this goes back to the bully post a bit back.  I have said no before and it has terminated a friendship because I couldn't be there to do what the person wanted, I was trying to focus on my own family and needs.  That being said, this is not generally the case, right?  Often times we just think people expect things of us.  Sometimes they don't and other times they just don't realize they have come to rely so much on us.  I need scale way back and not worry about what others think.  Real friends wont care.

Oh I know I will get all sorts of nasty thoughts directed at me for this position, but really as wives and mothers we do have a lot of power over how our house feels. I struggle too; everyone that knows me understands this. When I lost a part of myself two years ago it tore a hole in me and my family suffered. I still struggle with that, but I am trying. I am speaking from someone in the life boat, my gentle friends. Still working on paddling that boat back to the ship. It’s by God’s grace that I am where I am. To Him I sing all praises.

Have a wonderful rest of the week and remember, grab your pail when it's raining buckets.

Happy Tending!

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