Enduring Promise

I'd be a liar if I told you that this has been a FANTASTIC year.  That it has been a year of SUCESS and BLISS.  You would see  right through me.  I know you would.

This last seven months has taken a toll on me.  Its taken an emotional toll and a physical toll. It has left me drained during the times of despair.  I would be lying if I said I never looked up at God and said, "WHAT'S GOING ON?"  I have. I am human, like you.  I am not some mommy blogger that just talks about sunshine and roses.  I ran out of my "pixie dust" a long time ago, and Annie never really was a favorite of mine. 

Yep, I have had some real low periods the past seven plus months. 

I am someone who just likes to know what to expect.  It doesn't have to be sun shine and rainbows, but I do like to know where I am going to be next week.  Its who I am and how I work.  I stepped out in what I thought was faith, but our faith was not really in the place it should be.  We put our trust in men; people that we paid to keep an eye on us, our investment, our family.  You all know where that put us, right?  Smack dab in Motel 6 for almost 7 weeks, and not trusting God enough at times.    Sadly, a little late in the game, the blinders were removed and we began to pray with earnestness to God for forgiveness, faith to endure mostly, and to remain steadfast...always seeking his face and having ears that hear his word and eyes to see the truth and his will. 

I tried to remain positive and upbeat, but many times I felt anything but... so my heart wasn't where it should be..........

My mind would think of the book of James, and has been for a few weeks now.  I felt like we were passing through a Job phase in our lives... so my mind would  drift to James.  How he wrote to people 2000 plus years ago going through the SAME EXACT THINGS WE ARE TODAY (and worse).

James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." 

This is the first of several blog posts.{alas, yes, you will hear more from me...} Maybe through it, I can learn more, and hopefully share how God, even when the fear raised its ugly head, kept the situation in check.  How he provided when I was uncertain we could make it from week to week, and how he sent angles into the midst of our family to love on us and give us encouragement.  Yes, he used people who don't even believe in him...  God works to good for those that love him. 

Yes, God is alive.  He cares.  Paul in his letter to the Romans wrote, "we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance." (5:3) This is what I am doing, and trying my best to always do.  I am exulting, while the naysayers ask me what I have done, or why is "my God" doing this to our family; trying to tempt my faith and shake the ground I am standing on.  Even some are praying for us to fail and fail miserably: but.... MY GOD IS GREAT AND AWESOME. 

I know the end is not yet upon us, but we have found a temporary place to live.  God has blessed us in this.  He is awesome.  Where I am weak, he protects and leads others to me that encourage me. 

I will soon, I promise, share more of what our Summer and Autumn has been like, not in an effort to complain, but rather to show how God has really been here for us through some personal trials and tribulations, yes they have been many (God is teaching me to endure and have patience!).  He has never forsaken our little family; we begged for the cup to be taken from us, but we need to live this to learn to endure and rely on him.  He has protected and provided in so many ways. Maybe, through writing about it, I will grow and perhaps share with someone else going through a time of hardship as well.