Have you ever looked at yourself and seen that you were so focused on everyone else that you were neglecting yourself?
I don't mean the good kind of focusing either, I mean the kind that finds all kinds of faults, all kinds of reason why to not do something; all kinds of reasons why that person isn't doing this and this person isn't doing that... Making sure every dot and tittle is in place and every dot and tittle is seen for everyone; everyone but yourself. Yeah, that's me....too busy observing others to see myself.
Those things are hard to come to grips with, but even harder to admit or try to overcome. I admit it.
1Peter 1:22 states, "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart." When I look to make sure you are doing what's right all the time, neglecting my own actions, am I doing this is love? Nope. I can call it lots of things, but I can't pull the wool over God's eyes.
We need to remember that we can only see one side, or what someone is showing the world, we cant see their inner most fears. in 1 Samuel the word says, "God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” How often, as we search for all the wrong that a person might be doing, do we neglect to witness? How many times have our own actions been a stumbling block to someone? We can only judge the fruits. We can only judge the fruits that are shown to us. Too often we put our own spin on things and are left wanting.
Dots and Tittles
Looking to make sure that everyone else is doing their job or what we think they should be doing isn't the actions of a woman after God's heart. Its not the actions of the woman my husband chose to marry, its not the actions of a good mother, or daughter, and it certainly isn't the actions of a child of the King.
Its the actions of a woman with no purpose or goal. Its the actions of a woman that has too much on her plate and not enough time. Its the actions of a woman whose walk with Christ has not been what it should be. And that has to change. I want my God focus back. I want my directional pointer to be centered on God and I want to be the woman he wants me to be.
So that's where I am. Bearing it all open and pealing back the layers I try to hide behind. I am not put together, I am hurting, I am seeking, and I am a child of the King. Because I am a child of the King, I have hope. I was given a road map, and all I have to do is open it and ask for directions.
My prayer needs this week:
To re-establish a prayer life. I have been nagged by this lately. I seem to find lots of little excuses to not spend the time talking with God that I should. This MUST change. Thank you for your prayers!