Thursday, March 7, 2013

I bet I get some flak

If you are attached to an electronic device
are you missing moments like this?
I recently read a blog post, I found it because people from this page have been visiting Garden Tenders....  I looked around a bit; fun idea that you see all over the net now.  Mom's talking about what moms talk about and the quirkiness (or insane) things we see and do. 

I guess there was a post about moms on smart phones making the rounds recently.  I may have vaguely remember reading it.... Vaguely.....   Today I read a reply to Dear Mom on i-Phone...... at ....Dear Mom Judging Me.....  I had to reply.  I had to...  I am sure that I may even get some hate filled comments, but posted here is my reply.   

I get it. I do. You need time to “zone” and relax. I do too, I get it. I have been there.

That being said, I have also been the ignored friend while another mom assumes I will watch their child in the park while they text and “zone” on their smart phone. Its a leash, and its why I refuse to get one until I MUST have one. I have enough leashes and between other people demanding my attention and time I am well leashed.

When it comes to those I love and friends I DECIDE I am spending time with, you will get my attention. I won’t be “multi-tasking” my way through life. I’m not saying that you must 100% devote yourself to eyeballing your child and me, but put the damn phone down for 10 minutes, ok? Better yet, turn the thing off. Leave it in the car. Focus on the REAL life around you, not the electronic life that is contained in that leash. If you can’t do that, you might have an addiction and, well, no one here can help you.

I do get it though. I get needing to zone and unwind. I am a homeschooling mom that goes to school full time. I get the need for mind numbing zones. But when you do something like load the kiddos up in the car, drive to the park; can you give them your attention, at least for a little while? Then you can go back to checking your twitter and facebook pages…. trust me, that status update isn’t that important for the highschool friend you haven’t seen in a decade.

Sorry, had to share my perspective.
 
I really think when you get down to it, you need to put the phone down once in a while.

 I have literally had people I am talking to at the park for 30-45 minutes not raise their eyeballs from the phone, not once.  I gave up trying to talk to them long ago, and instead  I am enjoying the laughter, occasional cry, and the fresh air, unencumbered by the leash of technology. 

While I will not judge your ability to be a mother to your children because you are leashed to the phone, I will judge your ability to enhance our friendship.  Again, I am not judging your ability to be a mom.  I know many wonderful moms that have their smart phones with them all the time.  I know I am judged harshly, even by you leashed moms, because I am not a hoover/helicopter parent.  That being said, I am not judging your ability to parent your child, nor am I saying you must control every aspect of your child's life--shudder that thought...  ironically, those parents that will be the most angry at me for saying they are leashed, will be the first to judge me because I give Bear room to spread her wings and do not orchestrate her every waking moment.  Go figure.....
 
Thoughts?

13 comments:

  1. Very well said! I believe if someone has an issue with your response than maybe they do need to re-evaluate how they spend their time. I for one have noticed the leash my phone has on me, however since realizing it I try to make decisions in regards to my time. Our children deserve our attention, they thrive from it....our phones not so much!

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  2. I have a SmartPhone, but I'm not TETHERED to it. It drives me crazy when I see parents who cannot look up from it for a few minutes to interact with their kids. I've been at restaurants where several people are seated at the same table, but none of them are interacting with each other because they are glued to their phones. What's the point of going out with people or taking your kids somewhere if you aren't giving those people any of your attention?

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    1. Tethered is a interesting word to use. Stronger than leashed. :-) People are in strong denial that they keep their focus plastered so much on their phone and away from life. People get very angry if you bring it up.

      Thank you for visiting.

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  3. Great post! Couldn't agree with you more.

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  4. My nephews girlfriend had that same problem at one time. Im so glad she out grew that. Very annoying. But I know they are just addicted. Great story.

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    1. Many don't outgrow it sadly. It seems those most affected are the young as well. I am glad your nephews girl friend "outgrew" the habit though. Thank you for visiting.

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  5. I just had to comment. I completely agree with you. When I was a customer service supervisor (fancy name for a cashier), I was confronted with people on their cell phones. They didn't even acknowledge me at all. If I had done that to them, I would have been fired on the spot. I would just keep on talking saying Hi and Thank you even if they didn't notice me. Tell me that you can not let that phone go for a few minutes to acknowledge the cashier who is making your visit a pleasure. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest too. Thanks.

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    1. I think people use these electronic devices to hide behind. If you nose is down and your eyes are on a screen you can hide from people and interacting and forming true meaningful relationships with other IN REAL LIFE people. Notice I said I THINK, and there is not study backing up my thoughts. :-)

      Thank you for sharing though. I am so sorry you have to do what is a hard job with so little compassion from people. A smile would be nice as you are greeting them. if they can't look at you, should we really believe they are paying attention to their children? Its kind of a scary thought to ponder.

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  6. I despise it when people are stuck on the phone.

    I have a great deal going on in life. If I know you well enough to go hang out with you, then you know me well enough to know that it is not something I do lightly. Not that I don't like hanging out with people - but this season of my life I have a young special needs child, am a caregiver, need to be on call for elderly relatives with severe health problems, work from home, and so on. It is a tough time. If I can juggle things to come hang out with you - then I want to hang out with you. Not watch your kids while you play on your phone.

    I do have an iPhone. Just got it. And I don't see how people become tethered to them. And I'm not out of touch as someone told me once - maybe it's because my job focuses on SEO, social media, and other online things? But seriously, look up. Life passes by fast.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by Crystal. I agree, when I visit with someone I want to visit with them. Not their phone. Some ladies were even discussing this at church last week at a lady's tea. Thank you again.

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Thank you for taking a few moments to share your comments with me. It means a lot. Thank you!