Sunday, April 29, 2012

Starbuck Tales: Part One

Yes, Pretty Lady Lisa, the owner of the best little coffee place in Western Washington (CHEERS--Off of roughly 50th and South Tacoma Way in Tacoma --if your local tell her Kim and Sarah sent ya!), I stepped out.  I cheated on you and Scarlet (one of the Cheers Scooter Chicks and awesome barista).  Forgive me, but I seriously needed WiFi and I thought I was getting a quiet location where I could write my case briefs and memos in a semblance of silence while I pondered search and seizures and the rule of law, not to mention what REASONABLE really might mean.  Yes, I succumbed and spent $8.00 for that venti mocha, begged for 4 shots, which I paid for, and became part of an unwitting audience.  Who puts only two shots of espresso in a big 20 ounce mocha?  Even with those 4 shots the smoothness of Cheers could not be matched.  But I will admit, I was entertained and I am told people really go their for the "experience" not the coffee.

Looks nothing like the Mocha I got!
Picture from the Starbucks web site
Ok, Lisa got her name, PRETTY LADY, from Sarah.  Bear thinks Lisa is the best, but Scarlet is a close second.  Even today Bear calls Lisa "Pretty Lady" and so, as fate would have it, I do too.  Anyway, I digress......  I went to Starbucks to study, thinking I could capitalize on the free WiFi, instead I spent 2 hours being entertained by customers. 

You see, I didn't retreat to a local neighborhood Starbucks, though I am sure even in my working class neighborhood conversations would have been similar its just I would have encountered people wearing clothes from Freddies or Target instead of Nordstrom. Now I am not anti-Nordy, but for all you Nordstrom fans, I'll be up front and say I have never been that impressed with their quality of customer service, but maybe I look too ordinary?  I feel like I am being watched by hidden cameras when I venture through their store at the Mall.  Yeah ok, I'll leave now and take my behind and CASH to elsewhere.  Please leave your CIA level security scanning the weirdo lurking around the escalators, oh wait, I think he works there. 

So what does Nordstrom have to do with Starbucks?  A lot.  The Starbucks I was in was in a allegedly classier part of town and those yoga pants weren't the ones bought at Walmart, you know what I mean?  Money never has impressed me, which is why I had a hard time not laughing at some of the tales I heard and the way people, even married couples, were treating each other.  In real America, working America, people don't treat each other that way, you know?  I mean yeah, we're nice and polite (most of us still have enough fear of our mommas not to be) but we also act like we like each other, our body language doesn't spell distance.

I went in to Starbucks on a weekday, a Monday mid morning to be exact, thinking I would have no problem finding a quiet corner, but boy was I wrong.  I guess Starbucks drinkers find time, even in the middle of a recession, to buy their $6 brews and chat the day away with the "girls."  Well, maybe guys because there were plenty of men in there too.  Men on laptops, men on smart phones, men reading novels...

Here are a  few of the tales I heard while at Starbucks that made me feel like I was on some reunion television set for Knots Landing meets Real Housewives:

Part One:  Because I have a real life and need to sleep.

Couple number 1.  They were there for a while. They had a little girl about 2 that would soon be displaying her parents traits I am certain.  But before I go further, let me lay the groundwork....  I carried in my laptop, got my books out of my bag and struggled with connecting to the Internet, finally got the correct account and logged on, opening up my school account so I could access my needed databases.  There is where my attention span waned.  At first I was only mildly interested in the couple.  Their manners and actions struck me as a blind date meeting for the first time or pyramid scheme salesman trying to sell his product to an ultra polite woman he just met at the gym.

Their conversation was very stilted and ultra polite.  He kept checking his phone, looking up all sorts of nonsense and conversing with her about things like shares and if so and so liked what he said.  He said maybe he came off to strong and drove her off, and oh wait what's this message....  I'll be right back, I need to find a restroom, and stuff like that.  I thought for sure the woman would use this break to make an escape.  Wrong, as Mr. Business Polite in khakis and "deck" shoes walked away baby girl toddled after him and cried "Daddy."  Really????  Daddy?  Wow.  Ok.  I pegged that one wrong, but it was a honest mistake.  Seriously, what married couple with a child treats each other like that?  Its insane. I bet little girl will be enrolled in Annie Wright for preschool, and you all know my views on preschool.  I digress again.

Well, the woman has more guts than I do....  I'm not sure I would have stayed and waited for his return from the bathroom.  I would have feigned forgetfulness, said la de da and packed up toddler child, purse and vamoosed to Hawai'i or wherever else rich people in a recession go. But that's for another tale on another day.... yeah, another conversation involved wealthy elderly hoarders, downsizing, and wild trips with girl friends to Hawai'i, because I guess that's what rich old ladies do.

Anyway.... Until later.

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