This Morning as I ponder

FOR TODAY...

Outside my window... Its not yet light out.  I am awaiting a watery sunrise.

I am thinking... how I can be a better mom and wife.

I am thankful for... a God who loves; teaches in love; guides in love

I am wearing... PJ's, hey don't judge me...*grin* besides, its very early

I am remembering... People that take advantage of others, trying very hard to not be angry, but to recognize instead that they should be pitied.

I am going... to make red beans and rice, I'm hungry for it.

I am currently reading... Mini Farm and several other books on homesteading, livestock, and even fermenting.

I am hoping... no more trees come down.

On my mind... letting loose of the past, and forgiving deeds done or perceived done...  I can't make people be different than what they are, I can only tackle how I react to it.  Very hard to keep in mind.

Noticing that... real friends are rare.

Pondering these words... The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

From the kitchen... Oatmeal

Around the house... still need to take down the outside decorations. I am sure there are inside ones I have missed...  Don't you just hate that...  finding the lone Christmas decoration after all the things have been put up.

One of my favorite things… Hot cocoa

Endurance and faith...

I'd be a liar if I told you that this has been a FANTASTIC year.  That it has been a year of SUCCESS and BLISS.  You would see  right through me.  I know you would.

This last twelve months has taken a toll on me.  Its taken an emotional toll and a physical toll. It has left me drained many times.  But never have I doubted God's promise to us.   While I don't believe in unicorns, I do still hunt for pixies.  Maybe this is part of what has kept me from blogging so much.  We have had so much going on, some of it so mundane and day to day that no one could possibly want to read about, and the other so exhausting that I have crawled into bed at night weeping with pain, but knowing that pain means I am alive. 

But I never claimed to only blog about unicorns and sunshine, right?

We put Bear into public school this year.  Its been a very hard last year in a half since moving from the old place.  Weeks in limbo, followed by a stint in a hotel, and then a brief respite in a apartment before being able to move into what we call our Promised Land.  I don't recall the road to the promised land being paved with flowers and ice cream cones, do you?  So why should it be any different with us.

Bear loves school by the way.  It's what we need during this season of adjusting.

Some of the things that have happened since all this started almost two years ago would have many questioning if they were doing God's will.  I wont doubt that there have been times I myself have done that, but I look around at the peaceful forest that we are trying to carve our little home out of and I see God's hand. 

 Our chickens remind me of how simple life is, how we should look to God for our salvation, not man.  This is my biggest goal for 2015, to rejoice in all things.

It could be worse.  We have health, we have a home, we have food. We have more than some.   

I have a young new friend who is just thirty-ish and the first of October she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She has two little boys.  She is upbeat and always talking about praise and I have never heard her blame God.  It kind of makes you put things in perspective, you know?

James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." 

Yes, God is alive.  He cares.  Paul in his letter to the Romans wrote, "we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance." (5:3)

And with this thought and verse in mind  I look heavenward.  I ask for perseverance and peace. 

 

You say you want a resolution?

On the horizon 2014 is dawning and the light of 2013 is waning quickly.  The dust hasn't yet settled but I am still revisiting some things we had hoped to accomplish in 2013.

We did indeed move, and through that move God taught us some valuable lessons.  God stood beside us and gave us strength while we traveled the road 2013 led us on.  We have been forced to work on simplifying our life.  We still have things to work on, but this last year has given us many reasons to know that the things we think we need really aren't what we need.  What's important are the people and the relationships we have. 

Bear did so much this fall toward spreading joy to others.  She really was very excited about it and when the day is done, that is where true wealth lies.  She--and all other children-- is the future.  If we instill a loving heart in our children we have indeed gained wealth; a wealth far richer than gold.

I have been giving 2014 some thought.  I wondered about the one word thing and just couldn't do it because what I really want to work on, for me personally, is to be the woman God wants me to be and to have a heart seeking after Him.   To that end I am working on a few things:

Getting my health in order.
Its not about being thin, its about being healthier and ok in my skin.    I posted about this earlier with the changes our family will be making in our eating.  I think, after years of denial, I am experiencing a few food intolerances that are creeping up on me as I get older.  I need to get a handle on these before they rob me of health completely.  If my health is better than I can focus more on what I need to do to get my heart more centered on God.

Working on the beatitudes.
The beatitudes can be found in Christ's sermon on the mount in Matthew 5:3-10.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    For they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    For they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    For they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    For they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
If I can work on this daily, I will be doing good. 

Kind of in this vein, but not entirely is my desire to begin reading a proverbs a day on every month that has 30 days.  I will start in January, even though it has 31 days because February is a short month.  I use to read my Bible daily, and had so much more peace when I did and I wish to get back to that. 

The year ahead is a clean slate.  Its up to you what you make of it.  You can forge ahead and blaze a trail all your own, or stay right where you are.  The choice is yours. 

 

 

Oh Christmas Tree

Our first Christmas tree.... it resulted in our first fight as a couple.  Yep.... 

Our old house was also my mother-in-laws home before she passed on.  Hubs lived there with his mom before he bought it several years after her death.  When we got married her things where still in the house.  Her clothes were still in her dresser, her collections still gathering dust on the shelves; but this is only told so you can have some background on why I felt like an outsider in our home in those early days. 

We used his mothers tree that first year (and a couple years after) and all her ornaments.  While a tasteful woman, her style was not a style I felt comfortable with.  Now don't get me wrong,  I love this woman whom I never met, but we are different.  While she passed away more than 20 years ago, I still feel like I know her; I know her through her son, my husband.  She raised him and loved him and made him to be the kind, caring, gentle man that he is.  I will always love her, even if I don't care for her style. 

But back to that first year...

We had a couple friends over who helped me set up the tree.  When Hubs got home from work I put on Christmas music and set about decorating the tree and house they way I thought it should be decorated; simple....  It became apparent that Hubs was not his usual easy going self, and I began to pester as to why.  He was quiet and reserved.  I persisted in trying to make this a joyous event and after about half of his mothers ornaments were on the tree when I pronounced it done!  I believed it to be beautiful.  In hubs mind it was incomplete.  The result was a fight and I cried because I felt as if I were a guest in our home.  It wasn't until I made some major changes (not all met with joy at first) before I felt like my mark was being made.  But first I had to explain this...

It was two in the morning before our talking, my crying, and more talking resulted in a discussion and growth and understanding.  

That's what love is about. 

It was a very hard first year of married life in many ways, the Christmas tree was one of several things we learned from that first year.   It was hard, but well worth the effort.

Marriage takes work, and understanding each other.  Its not always easy, but its worth the work.  This year our Christmas tree has beloved ornaments from Hubs childhood, a few from mine, and a lot we have bought since that first year. Now we share stories as we hang up the ornaments one by one. We share the stories with Bear.  Our tree now reflects us as a family. Our house is less decorated than Hubs had as a child, but the Christmas spirit is alive and well.   Being with loved ones and spending time together reflecting upon our Savior's birth is what matters. 

Christmas 2013







Thankful for my friends

Thank you to Debspoon's and
Free Digital Photos.net

Dear Friend,

I love you.  I know I don't say it often enough.  I enjoy our times together.  I enjoy our talks about children, life, husbands, and children....  Yes I certainly do.  I look forward to times together where we chat, enjoy a meal, coffee and desert, or even just your company while waiting for our kiddos to finish a class, or project together.  I look forward to your emails, phone calls, texts, and yes even those occasional REAL letters that we might exchange.  I love you for being you.  I know how rare you are.  I know your value and how hard it is in todays world to have real life friendships, even when miles separate us.

I am thankful for having you in my life.  You help to make me who I am.  You may have known me for years, or you might be brand new in my life, but I am grateful and appreciative of your friendship and love.  I pray for you daily.  I pray for your health and for your family.  You are valuable to me.  Knowing you has enriched my life, the life of my family, and given me many blessings.  I am THANKFUL FOR YOU.

Thank you for letting me into your life!

Stumbling

Through this time in our life I have spent countless time in thought and prayer.  "Please Lord, guide our decisions,"  "Please Father God, let us do your will," and so it goes. 

My head knows that as a Christian we are never promised an easy walk, in fact its the opposite.  Trials and tribulations act like a furnace used to strengthen steel, so do the tribulations that we go through in our life....big and small.  They serve to strengthen us, and refine us, making our hearts pure and focused more fully on God.   The book of James is ripe with such words of encouragement, and yes even admonitions that we count all things as JOY.  That we find GLORY in the struggles because at the end of the day, when all seems lost and gone and the world scorns us, we can count ourselves blessed because we belong to GOD. 


But, oh this is hard to do, isn't it?

My self, or my heart, wanted everything to be easy and fall into place the way I wanted them to. 

I questioned God when things didn't fall into place like I THOUGHT it should.  I asked God the Father what did I do, what did my husband do, what could we do differently, why was this happening to US  ....  do you see a pattern?  I do, I was asking about I, ME, WE.....  Selfish!  God never said it would be easy, look to Israel in the book of Exodus.  They thought it should be like a cake walk and the minute it wasn't what did they do?  And then what happened to them as a consequence?  Yep....  Not so different today are we?  We want everything to be handed to us when we want it.  We ask God to show us His will and then we get angry when it 1) doesn't match our will or 2) takes longer to occur than WE think it should.  We speak a good word saying we want God's will, but when the rubber meets the road, we falter.  We question and second guess the very one we say we are waiting on....  yeah, patience is not something many of us have in abundance, me especially. 

Doesn't seeing that in black and white just look selfish?  Well, I was selfish.  I worried about what others would think.  I was embarrassed that as a Christian things weren't going smooth and like clock work.  I was worried more about how others would view me than really doing God's will.  I didn't think that at the time. 

In my defense (if I have any), there were contributing factors.  Some people close to our family hinting or saying that we were going against God in even coming down this road.  Like how the ease and speed that our house sold, even as we were contemplating removing it from the market, was not of God.  Constant questioning of my Hubs ability to care for his family by some was also nagging at me.  My head said "who cares as long as we are headed in the direction that God has us going", but my selfish side worried; worried not that we weren't going in God's direction so much as worried what others would think. 

In James 3 we also read about the self seeking heart.  Verse 16 in the King James version reads, "For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there."  What James is telling us is to yield to God's will and seek His wisdom.  The book of James really asks us to look at our lives, our own hearts.  Considering the book of James I can't help but do this.  In Bible class we were recently asked to name some favorite books of the Bible, in hindsight James would be listed near the front.  As much as it pains one to admit they need a cleanse, James admonishes us to do just that.  What's the point of a health cleanse without a heart cleanse as well? 

I am not sure that I have conquered this, but I am trying and praying that God gives me the strength as we open this new book.  I am praying that I leave it all in His capable hands, and let him guide us and my husband. 

Next Friday I share about one of the lowest times through this time and how our life as we know it was only saved through God's grace and love.

 

 

Acceptance

Acceptance that I struggle with waiting. 

Acceptance that what I desire isn't in God's plan right now. 

Acceptance that we are who we are and we don't need to live up to the standards of others. 

Acceptance that I look like what I look like, if you don't like it, don't look. Sometimes its the "Square Pumpkin" that saves the day.

Acceptance that I come from where I come from and my experiences have been mine alone.  I own them and I accept that.  I welcome the fact that my experiences have created the person I am.  I wouldn't be a Christian with out them.  I have not always been a Christian, in fact much of my life I was not one. 

I guess the point is that we constantly are growing.  No matter what, we grow.  We can grow in the direction of the light, or not.  When we look at plants we can see what direction provides better for the needs of the plant.  The plant seeks the light, and so do I.  If you don't like it and think I am too "preachy" you have another option you know, if you can't accept me for who I am. 

This journey I have been on has been a long one.  It's sure to continue for the foreseeable future, and I accept that.  In fact, I welcome it!  The alternative is to hard to contemplate.  It would surely hurt my head. 

Friday I plan to talk about how I have struggled and questioned recently.  Not questioned the existence of God, but rather His purpose for me. 

Enduring Promise

I'd be a liar if I told you that this has been a FANTASTIC year.  That it has been a year of SUCESS and BLISS.  You would see  right through me.  I know you would.

This last seven months has taken a toll on me.  Its taken an emotional toll and a physical toll. It has left me drained during the times of despair.  I would be lying if I said I never looked up at God and said, "WHAT'S GOING ON?"  I have. I am human, like you.  I am not some mommy blogger that just talks about sunshine and roses.  I ran out of my "pixie dust" a long time ago, and Annie never really was a favorite of mine. 

Yep, I have had some real low periods the past seven plus months. 

I am someone who just likes to know what to expect.  It doesn't have to be sun shine and rainbows, but I do like to know where I am going to be next week.  Its who I am and how I work.  I stepped out in what I thought was faith, but our faith was not really in the place it should be.  We put our trust in men; people that we paid to keep an eye on us, our investment, our family.  You all know where that put us, right?  Smack dab in Motel 6 for almost 7 weeks, and not trusting God enough at times.    Sadly, a little late in the game, the blinders were removed and we began to pray with earnestness to God for forgiveness, faith to endure mostly, and to remain steadfast...always seeking his face and having ears that hear his word and eyes to see the truth and his will. 

I tried to remain positive and upbeat, but many times I felt anything but... so my heart wasn't where it should be..........

My mind would think of the book of James, and has been for a few weeks now.  I felt like we were passing through a Job phase in our lives... so my mind would  drift to James.  How he wrote to people 2000 plus years ago going through the SAME EXACT THINGS WE ARE TODAY (and worse).

James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." 

This is the first of several blog posts.{alas, yes, you will hear more from me...} Maybe through it, I can learn more, and hopefully share how God, even when the fear raised its ugly head, kept the situation in check.  How he provided when I was uncertain we could make it from week to week, and how he sent angles into the midst of our family to love on us and give us encouragement.  Yes, he used people who don't even believe in him...  God works to good for those that love him. 

Yes, God is alive.  He cares.  Paul in his letter to the Romans wrote, "we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance." (5:3) This is what I am doing, and trying my best to always do.  I am exulting, while the naysayers ask me what I have done, or why is "my God" doing this to our family; trying to tempt my faith and shake the ground I am standing on.  Even some are praying for us to fail and fail miserably: but.... MY GOD IS GREAT AND AWESOME. 

I know the end is not yet upon us, but we have found a temporary place to live.  God has blessed us in this.  He is awesome.  Where I am weak, he protects and leads others to me that encourage me. 

I will soon, I promise, share more of what our Summer and Autumn has been like, not in an effort to complain, but rather to show how God has really been here for us through some personal trials and tribulations, yes they have been many (God is teaching me to endure and have patience!).  He has never forsaken our little family; we begged for the cup to be taken from us, but we need to live this to learn to endure and rely on him.  He has protected and provided in so many ways. Maybe, through writing about it, I will grow and perhaps share with someone else going through a time of hardship as well. 

A Psalm of strength

Psalm 37

Allowing a reflection during this time of trial.  Giving strength during this time of tribulation. 

I have been envious toward those doing perceived wrongs toward me. I have looked at people and complained that they have not worked as diligently as they should as they sit in comfortable homes.  It has really and truly ruled many of my waking moments, and if this is the case, am I really doing what God wants?

I have been fretful, a lot....  Job didn't fret when all sorts of calamity hit him. He hunkered down, and praised God.  WOW....  I am not worthy.  I have not been as Job.  I have questioned.  I have had fear.  I have worried.  I have......... failed.  Point blank.  I have failed. 

God cares and loves us.  If he cares for the sparrow why would he not care more for us? In Matthew 10:29-31 we are told that even the hairs on our head are numbered and that God does indeed care for us, and what becomes us.  Luke 12:24 says, "Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds."   

Now I am not saying that God doesn't tell us to prepare and store....  There are instances in the Bible where we are told to do exactly that.  What I am saying is that we are to not let the worry rule us and take control.  The stress from the worry is debilitating.  It hurts our physical and emotional health. 

When we are anxious about things of this world, even  things that are needs, we lose our focus on God.  Fear and anxiety must not rule the day.  When we think about the might happens, could happens, and should happens of things to come we carry burdens that are God's domain.  Please Father, take these worries from me.

Children understand this.  My daughter quietly shared with me as we looked at a post of daily encouragement on another blog how God made the cardinals and takes care of them, so we don't need to worry.  Simple words and simple truths from the lips of a child.  God provides for us, if we allow him to. 

Allow me to share much of Psalm 37 with you my gentle friends.

Do not fret because of evildoers,
            Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
For they will wither quickly like the grass
            And fade like the green herb.
Trust in the LORD and do good.
            Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD;
            And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
            Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
            And your judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
            Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
            Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
            Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
For evildoers will be cut off,
            But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.
Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;
            And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.
But the humble will inherit the land
            And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.
The wicked plots against the righteous
            And gnashes at him with his teeth.
The Lord laughs at him,
            For He sees his day is coming.
The wicked have drawn the sword and bent their bow
            To cast down the afflicted and the needy,
            To slay those who are upright in conduct.
Their sword will enter their own heart,
            And their bows will be broken.
Better is the little of the righteous
            Than the abundance of many wicked.
For the arms of the wicked will be broken,
            But the LORD sustains the righteous.
The LORD knows the days of the blameless,
            And their inheritance will be forever........

and it goes on to say.....

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
            And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
            Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.
I have been young and now I am old,
            Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
            Or his descendants begging bread.
All day long he is gracious and lends,
            And his descendants are a blessing.
Depart from evil and do good,
            So you will abide forever.

This Psalm of David is full of wisdom and encouragement for each and every one of us.

 

Yes Father, encourage me to delight in you always.  Guide me to do your will Father.  Give me strength Father, and hold my hand while I travel in this valley.  I know you will never forsake me.  I ask this Father, and pray this, in your Son's name.

 

 

Coming to terms

I don't like life being uncertain.  I can't thrive like that.  However I know that God is leading me to rely on him, ALWAYS.  I am trying. 

I have been thinking-- and really it's along the lines of what I have been thinking for months and months--sometimes me thinking is good sometimes not the wisest course of action  but anyway, I have been thinking about our life, a lot.....

If nothing else, being without a home for all these weeks has forced us to revaluate completely.  What do we really need in life?  How can you focus more on what's really important? 

I am reading books for enjoyment again, reading more to Bear.  We are getting outside to see the world God created more and more....  So there are silver linings to all this waiting.  We are trying ,very much ,to not be weary.

 The point is, we need to live simpler lives. Let me say that again.  We NEED to live simplier lives.  We need to as a family, as a society even.   Think about it, we have all these high-tec gadgets, even low-tech gadgets and we are busier and more stressed then ever.  I was reading on Manage Your Life Now that the causes of stress today "emerge from the too many obligations" that we have to juggle, every single day.  Not only do we have to juggle them, our kids have to.  Our children are starting their lives stressed.  Childhood and its play and exploration has been replaced by structured activities.  When we expect 5 or 6 year olds to act like Mom and Dad we force expectations on them that we never had as children.  I wasn't whisked off to play dates 3 or 4 days a week, were you?  I wasn't put in camps every week of the summer, were you?  I wasn't in structured sports at 4, yet we have 2 and 3 year olds doing these things and it can't be good.  I speak as a mom that has done this.  I have been driving from activity to activity myself, doing business on the cell phone and throwing McDonald lunches at my daughter because we are rushing from one thing to another. 

Getting a bigger house to manage all our junk is not the key to living more simply, or rather more God focused and directed.   Try as we might, without first focusing where we should we will never find that elusive key, and that key is everything. 
 

I feel guilty because we are still in limbo, but you know, we are learning.  Bear is picking up words right and left, and happily doing copy work a few days a week as well.   God is showing us the key to a  simpler and calmer (quieter) life.  Its a time of encouraging my faith, and showing me what is  key and important.  Its not fancy houses, fancy clothes, flittering from one activity to another, but rather living more in tuned with God our father in heaven. 

 

So my challenge to you:  Give up some outside activities and give yourself and your family time to just be......Think and Believe and it shall BE!

The Making of a homeschooler Pt 1

Welcome to a series of posts on the making of a homeschooler.  I am introducing this with some background on yours truly; how I first became introduced to homeschooling.  I am going to be sharing my thoughts and hints, links and problems I have encountered and how I am solving or solved them in the course of this series.

 

The Making of  a Homeschooler...... 

 

One family I grew very close to many years ago homeschooled their children... the children are now adults and getting married, soon they will start having children of their own...  it makes me feel very old.  I liked being a "Mother's Helper" and asked and was granted the opportunity to take on some of the "teaching" of the children.  I loved it and to this day remember those times with fondness.  I was just 20 and in college myself at the time.  The ages of the children ranged from about 5 years to 9 years back when I first started.  In the early days I "taught" once or twice a week, about an hour at a time.  It was much like how I teach Bear today, project based.  Of course there are differences...  I am more in tuned to following how my child learns best, and more willing to step outside the box, but that's only normal.  It was a wonderful opportunity and preparation for my life today, twenty years later. 

The things we did were "fun" things, and I doubted the learning we actually did at the time.... mostly because of the FUN we had. 

We learned music basics!  I was taking a class at the time that was for teachers.  It taught classroom teachers how to teach music in the elementary classroom, back when I wanted to be a teacher.  I took everything I learned in each of my classes and applied it where I could in my own little class.  We sang songs, learned counting of notes, talked about and listened to all types of music, and even played the recorder.  The children picked it up and did very well at it. 

We were reporters!  I bought each of the children little "reporter notebooks" and we started a project that was a neighborhood newspaper of sorts.  We sat down and decided on a name for our publication.  We decided who would edit, what sections would be covered, who would write what, what stories would be included, we even had someone drawing comics for the funnies section.  It was fun and I like to think this taught a lot of things to the children in a fun way.  My goals for the project included working together, language arts, spelling, and art.  One of the children is an accomplished author, with several published works.  Maybe this project gave her encouragement in that regard, maybe it didn't, but it didn't hurt her talents that's for sure. 

Later when the children were older and another sibling was added we made a video complete with commercials that the children wrote and performed.  It was so much fun!  Our theme was Farm Day!  This project appealed to the six year old as much as the six-teen year old.  The older I have grown the more the idea of thinking outside the box and finding fun and creative educational projects to encourage learning has become important to me.....  One of the reasons I love homeschooling my daughter. 

What is your background?  What made you decide to homeschool if you do homeschool? 

Family Fun

Last spring I purchased a Groupon certificate to a somewhat local Country Fair and Farm;  Remlinger's Farm in Carnation, Washington.

It was very busy, but Bear had the time of her life.  If you are local in Western Washington, you need to put this on your "Family To Do List."  Bear loved the pony rides best of all. 

I am going to share a bit of our day with you.  We had a great time, it was a bit of a drive from our area, but it was fun.  I guess they also have fall specific events which include wagon rides.  So I guess you still have some time.  We are going to two or three other October events and can't add anything else to the calendar right now.

 

 

Speaking of calendar.....  we are still a couple weeks out of the house being ready for us....  I am getting antsy, but it will all be in God's time.  Right now, living in a motel, and learning to enjoy more free time.  Yes, I have rediscovered a few things since I have decided I need to embrace it rather than fight it so much.  Am I happy?  No, but I am ok. I have started reading again... for fun.  We are doing a few "school" things, like handwriting, living math, reading and working on sounds together, but we are spending a lot of time outside as well. 

This is a season in our lives.  I can look upon it with scorn, or acceptance that God will provide and is providing for us.  God is good.

Thankful Surprises...

Here is some coffee to start your day off right!

 

God has a very profound way of letting us know He provides and take great care in our needs.  GREAT CARE.  

I could list off the things God has done in the past four or five days that is truly beyond what we imagined, but time would fail me.  Yes, there has been a lot of trials, but He has worked those through in His time when we have had to lean on Him and not our own selves.

I have made a few decisions this summer.  In September I will begin my 3 in 30 challenges again.  This is a thankful reminder that I need to keep things simple and give God room to work.

I am thankful for the wonderful Bible study we have been having the past few Wednesday evenings.  We have been discussing prayer and the importance of a prayer life/relationship.  I plan to share some of the insights here as time goes by.  I have been convicted of the need for a better prayer life for me, and to show the importance of it to my daughter. 

Alexis, Hubs and Bear's cousin, had a lump return to her leg -- as you recall last year about this time it was discovered that she had a cancerous tumor on her leg.  They removed it all but couldn't promise it wouldn't return.  When she had the lump return, of course we were concerned; as were her doctors.  The family spent a week of uncertainty and then got the good news that the surgeons and doctors believe it is just a stitch that didn't dissolve correctly.  This is an answered prayer.  Such a tough and brave little girl.  Her family has been through a lot this year and our prayers continue. 

So amidst trials, deaths of a dear sister in Christ, loss of a beloved pet, and uncertainty we see reasons for rejoicing!

Patience

God is teaching me patience.  I fail, but He still is trying to get me to have it.

We are still not in our new house.  I guess its only been 30 days since our bid was accepted, but it seems like twice as long.  We have been out of our old home for almost a month and the waiting has been unbearable!  Oh the patience.... 

 I just want to get in, get our stuff in, and get going on with our lives.  We have been in a limbo.  I don't think I will ever do this again.  *sigh*  Patience Kim, Patience.....

I am dreaming of how I will set up our spaces.  Bear needs to be in a stable environment as well, with space to play.  Oh how sad I sound....  I know with all my being how blessed we are and how I need to use this time for better things....

So I plod along, praying that tomorrow we will have good news that we will be signing on our new home.  Praying that the patience I so need comes swiftly.  That I wait upon the Lord for all things without putting my finger in the pie.

Life will resume, we will look back on this time as a learning adventure.  It shall pass. I am learning...  I am growing....  Yes, it will pass as I wait upon God.

 

 

 

Give Thanks in ALL!

Reposted from July 12, 2012

We are in the process of getting into a new home.  I am reposting a few past posts that are meaningful still today.  Thank you Gentle Friends.

Even when times are bad.....  Yep, even when the times are bad we are to give thanks and that's when it helps the most to think about some of the blessings (even when they don't seem like it at the time) we have been given.

Each petal was lovingly
thought and designed by God...
so the same is true of every
 aspect of our lives.

I was recently invited out and because I have made a promise to myself to try to be real, to edify more, etc.,  didn't even feel bad truning them down.  Two months ago I would have jumped all over myself to be included, hungering so much for whatever friendship people were throwing my way, and now I'm not.  I am worthy of true friends, that care about me, want to spend time with me and seek God!  Thank you Lord!

Ok, even though the city has ticked me off, it has speeded up our efforts to do some things around here, so I will count that as a blessing.  The Dandelion Menace, while still present, is slowly slipping away, for the most part.  *grin*  We kinda like them so will never be completely rid of them.

A network of blogging buddies who are helping me to keep on track for my June goal of two posts a week  (this doesn't really count). 

My little girl for the giggles she provides.  I mean who can not giggle when she tells a funny to her tale!?  I admire her imagination and creativity.

My husband, as always, for putting up with me as I struggle with the day in day out pains.  But even the pain I am thankful for.  It means I have been granted more time to be refined!  Thank you God, the Father and CREATOR of ALL things.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul. 
Psalm 31:7

Burnout...

I think I am approaching a burnout.  This move has got me stressed, tired, anxious, and my patience is wearing thin with everyone....  real fast.  Do you have days like that?  Seasons in your life?

Thursday, July 11th, is most likely the last night we will be spending in our home.  I am missing it already.  My heart is aching, even while I am looking forward with hope and excitement.  Its an unknown feeling, to be leaving a much beloved home and charging into unknown waters....  at least we have a life vest....  Christ!

We thought we had a new house already, but....  inspections are a must in this day and age.  There were a lot of hidden issues that when you add those to the problems we knew about added up to more than we could stomach.  Friday we will bid on another house and hoping and praying we will win the bid/offer on this house.  The market is a sellers market, and interest rates are on the rise.  Just pray for us and our little family.  Grammy is needing to be with us more each day. 

God has a place for us.  I know it.  He has plans for us.  I know it.  He will take care of us.  I know this as well.  I am not doubting Him in the least; I am accepting but I am also very tired.  Moving is very hard.  Its stressful.  Bear is constantly asking, "when will we have fun?"  I want to have fun, and I am so wiped out fun to me is getting into bed and pulling the covers up over my face! I am hoping we will have a bit of down time soon.  We all need it.  The past 4-5 months of preparing ourselves for this has been stressful on each of us. 

God has such a powerful way of making sure I know that I must lean on Him.  That I must do my part in the process as well. 

Thus tonight I am posting this and asking for prayers,  prayers for peace and strength (both physical and emotional) to get through this and for the new home that God has for us to be seen by us and for our peace in what He has in store.  In the meantime, we are packing, renting a garage, a truck and leaving our long beloved home....  charging into the unknown and waiting with expectant hearts for God's time and His will to be done.

Have a good evening gentle friends.

A Generation Lost

I have a challenge I want to present you with... 

 

 

We are a generation who has lost its way.  We grapple with how we can reconnect, while leashed to our cell phones, lap tops, reality TV, and tablets.  We are a generation lost....

 

At one time, back when we all lived in rural towns, and looked out for each other, lived in the same place for our whole life, we had a simpler life.  We had less, but we had more.  Its kind of strange, you know?  Today we have so much, yet have lost contact with each other.  We need to return to some of the old-fashioned ways of our grandparents and find ourselves again.   Lets go down this path that is overgrown but ripe with hope.  Lets sit on our front porch, lay a blanket in the grass and enjoy the fresh air and reconnect.  Somewhere along the way we will find out what we have been missing as we bustle and hustle to and fro.  We will teach our children that we value them and our fellow mankind as we take the time to actually talk with our neighbors. 

 

I am challenging you to join me in reconnecting;  I challenge you to reconnect and find out what you have lost in a quest to be busy.  Put down the phone, turn off the computer, and pick up a glass of lemonade.  Encourage your neighbors to join you, as you forge ahead perhaps others will yearn to reconnect in real life as well.  

 

Lets take back our front porch, finding our selves in the process.  We can stop this cycle.

 



Time wasters

so life isn't cooperating you say...

This post first was published in January 2013 and I just discovered I never posted a follow up!  MUST DO!  But as a refresher, here is the parent post and a follow up will be posted soon.  Enjoy!

Every plan you have made is falling through.  Your bucket has so many holes in it you can literally see your plans slipping away.  My husband tells me often that life happens when you're busy making other plans. 

I'm being truthfully and painfully honest here. Despite efforts, and even some headway into the waters, some things continue to be suckers of time in my life. They suck up time like the old gas hog we had when I was a kid. In fact I bet "Old Besty" ate less gas!

In the days before Internet and smart phones we did less multitasking, and in many ways I think a lot of times wasters come from doing too much and not focusing on one thing.  The projects we worked on got more of our attention before we had more technology; we had less time to waste, but we got more done.  We were happier, healthier, and finished what we started, as a general rule.

Today, as I promised, I am sharing what some of my biggest time wasters are and a little bit about why. 

Some of my time wasters are:

• Facebook:  While I don't play games, I see facebook as a big time waster in my day.  If I neglect checking it in the morning, my day goes much better.  Why is that?  Me thinks I need to refrain from checking Facebook in the morning.  After the first check, I end up needing to check often.  What did so and so say to that comment, what thread did so and so post....  Yep, its a downward spiral.  I am told that there are good aspects to facebook, and I do agree it can be good, but it sure can whittle away at the time.
• Traffic or driving to places:  To get anywhere I feel like I am in the car 15 to 20 minutes.  I'm not sure why but I do know it just seems to take forever to get to the store, to the bank, to the doctor.... 
• Saying yes to often:  To many activities.  To much to do, which really wears down my resolve to not get on facebook to try to unwind.  Multi-tasking, contrary to the now popular notion, is not good for us, our bodies, nor those who love us.  Forbes magazine, and several other sources have written articles on how it actually isn't good for us or our productivity, some major companies have even asked employees to focus on one task at a time in meetings, etc.  On one web site, LateralAction, an author even goes so far to say that "multitasking can reduce your performance level to that of a drunk?"  Wow.  Sobering thoughts as we multi-task ourselves into an early grave.  How many of us, have projects littering our desktops, to do lists, and education goals.  Now these aren't really bad things, when done with the right mind set and in moderation, but I am convinced that doing, doing, doing is hurting our families. 
• Not finishing up a task before starting another/procrastination:  This kind of goes with multitasking.  Its hard to really complete one task when you have 6 other pots on the stove.  When we have many things to do our mind can't focus, in fact studies have shown that most of us can only focus on 5-10 items at a time.  We really can't even do that much if we are doing something that asks for significant levels of brain power.  Just the other day I started cleaning about 3 things at once.  I started off picking up my coffee table, went into the kitchen to to get a rag and some lemon oil and ended up doing something else I seen and was on my short list for the day as well.....  am I alone?
• Not having everything I need in one place (i.e., where I can find it):  Looking for things take a lot of time and when you are in a hurry or not wanting to do something you end up frustrated and buying it again.  Not effective at all!
• Not communicating effectively:  Sadly, yes.  Arguing, pouting, etc. waste my time.  It generally comes from not effectively communicating.  I get so stressed from trying to multitask effectively (trying to keep up with everyone else) and keep my focus on XYZ that I get tired and worn out, and then I lash out.  Poking at the specks in others eyes takes a lot of time, especially while tripping over the beam in my own.  Its a cycle, and I hate that treadmill. 

It seems that a lot of it really boils down to putting my focus in the right place.....

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

Philippians 2:3-4

 

Are we doing this?  The better question is, AM I DOING THIS?

Next week (give or take) I will share my plan for combating these and the steps I have taken to address them.  What are some of your time wasters? 

Life lessons

Life lessons can hurt; they can bring joy; they can bring relief; they can bring sorrow; but I would rather learn them then continue on in ignorance.   

I read an interesting quote attributed to Mother Teresa recently.  “If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.  If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.  If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.  If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.  The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway…  You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.” 

“There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy.”  From How to be happy.

Its easy to get drawn into the fray when you are weak; to have a snide comment send you off the deep end.  Sometimes, though, going that step to far can be a good thing.  Falling off the comfy wall forces you to cut strings that you have no need of, so it's not for naught.  Cut away.

I feel God is certainly leading me in a direction of simplification; from who I know to what I do.  This is part of why Charlotte Mason appeals to me in our education walk.  She once wrote, "In this time of extraordinary pressure, educational and social, perhaps a mothers first duty to her children is to secure for them a quiet and growing time, a full six years of passive receptive life, the waking part of it for the most part spent out in the fresh air."  That's a unpopular philosophy but its really beginning to be what I think is paramount.  It lends it self very well to the education path we have traveled thus far. 

Miss. Mason even had thoughts on motherhood or womanhood.  "If mothers could learn to do for themselves what they do for their children when these are overdone, we should have happier households. Let the mother go out to play! If she would have the courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or half a day, out in the fields, or with a favourite book, or in a picture gallery looking long and well at just two or three pictures, or in bed, without the children, life would go on far more happily for both children and parents. The mother would then be able to hold herself in "wise passiveness’ and would not fret her children by continual interference even of hand or eye - she would let them be."

Now, I am not exactly sure I agree 100% with that, but the basic premise is that mothers should relax more and not orchestrate every facet of the family's life to her own detriment, i.e, don't be a control freak.  Take time to enjoy life in gentle pursuits.  Sleep in when you can, and don't worry...  The family will not fall apart.  Lean upon your spouse and lean upon God, because when you are rested and well in spirit as well as body, the house will run more smoothly and the family will follow.  The old adage that the "hand the rocks the cradle rules the world" is true.  We wield a lot of power within our hands and its up to us how we use it. 

Qouteable Friday