I am one speechless hooker mommy....

It has been a very trying few months here in Mommyland, and the last few weeks it has been magnified.  Is raising a 4 year old ever easy?  Nope, but that isn't the half of it.  Life in general has just been over whelming.  I have been in Mommy meltdown mode more often than not, something my poor family can attest too. 


Lots of reasons really.  Overwhelmed by all that needs to get done.  Overburdened sometimes by all that has to be done and trying to live up to what everyone else is expecting of me.  Dealing with people that have a very different philosophical idea I guess, and their ideas on how I should raise my child, help my mother, etc.,  etc.,  etc.....  just overwhelmed.

Then last week I read a post on a blog (Rants from Mommyland) and thought hey, I was looking for a way to help, and I knew we could use some help if someone felt led to offer it (I haven't been unable to work since August 09 and Bob has faced cut time several times this year and no over time which in years past has been a nice cushion for winter).  But despite everything we are doing ok, just have had to tighten the belt and stuff.    I never, in a million years expected to hear from a fellow hooker.  I mean, I have gotten rather cynical I guess.  A part of me was even thinking, "can we afford this really" and Bob insisted that we send a gift card to another mom and her family, because really while we have it rough, we still have decent health, can pay our mortgage and have been blessed with working vehicles.  I just felt like the small amount we sent would be not enough to make any difference, and I sincerely hope when my hooker opens her red target envelope that she feels the love like I did when I opened mine. 

To the lady in NY and her family, whom I know I will never meet and will never read this:  I pray, I pray so hard that God blesses you and your family.  You not only have given us the ability to buy a few extra groceries and an extra gift or so for Sarah, but you have restored my faith in people.  I can't begin to repay you for that.  My family can't.  We would have been ok without getting anything, and there are so many others in much greater need, but you have done something very strong, brave, whatever to this hooker in Washington state.  You have restored my faith and made me re see my direction, where I have faltered over the last couple years while dealing with all the crap that has went on.  I have been seeking this need to my very core of reconnecting with compassion but haven't seen it really in action.  I have donated my time in so many ways to so many others and you, sweet blessed NY state hooker has done in one God driven swoop, what I in all my months of seeking have been unable to do.  I don't know that you are a believer, but I know that God knew I needed this and He used you.  I am forever grateful.  My heart overflows with love toward you and your family.  THANK YOU. 

I have been so cynical lately, horribly so and can only trace it back to who I have been around.  I'm odd that way I guess.  If I am around people that rarely have nice things to say I start thinking that way and it really isn't who I am.  Change number 1, as hard as it will be.  Anyway, thank you for reading this.  Thank you to the lady in NY and thank you to all my family and true friends that have stood by me through this trying time in my life.  I am trying very hard to put the last couple years behind me now.  I will work very hard on getting rid of that cynical side that really isn't who I am. 

Happy Tending!