Thursday, December 29, 2011

reality bites but love prevails....

Well the time is here to discuss the goals we have for 2012.  Time to update our education goals a bit and change them up at bit when we start back after a month off (we took a month off of really sitting down and doing a lot, though we still tend to be more holistic and child led at this point and not all book work). 

2012 will see us eating healthier and doing more juicing and eating more homemade grain breads and more homemade meals with less and less prepared ingredients.  Simplifying our eating and lifestyle (tomorrow read the post on our challenge of 20 bags in 30 days in an effort to de-clutter our lives) in an effort to increase health and well being.

We will work more and more on routine in the Homeschool "classroom".  This will entail a lifestyle change I suspect, or at least a change in routines.  As much as we love our small "learn through play" group, for our family we need a bit more structure now.  Not sure how I will broach this subject with the other moms.  The dramatic play we have been doing on those weeks has been lacking from what I thought it would be and while we love the families, I need to change things up a bit I think.  I love and encourage dramatic play but for us it needs to be a bit more guided or it is just a play group, which is fine, but not really educational, if you know what I mean.  We love play time, but we also need to have more guiding.  I am a culprit as well, I was beginning to slack off because so little was expected I guess.  I did begin with good intentions but you know how that goes.  I am hoping our creative kids can take off a bit more, which is a once a month group for 0-7ish yr olds.  This group is really what I envisioned in some ways that creative play and science and nature combined play, etc., could be.  Guided and free all at once, and that is possible, we do it often enough.    LOL

We did break down and buy Sarah a Nintendo DS game system for Christmas.  We were able to get one very inexpensively and our "hooker" helped to enable that.  Thank you again!  I can see some education possibilities with it, and honestly with all the doctor appointments we go to monthly it will help keep someone sitting still while the doctors chat with the grownups.  A big relief for this mommy!  LOL

Sarah also got her Barbie ATV.  :-)  Santa shopped blackfriday deals and was able to get a very good deal.  She was a happy happy girl on Christmas morning!

This December also marked the 10th anniversary of my father being killed.  I no longer have venomous anger and hatred toward the men that robbed him of his life and stole him from us, but I also wasn't prepared for how I would feel this year, 10 years later (December 15).  I think the amount of pain I felt and loss still struck me hard.  I wasn't prepared for it and it literally has knocked me to my knees and robbed me of breath.  I have shed many tears this month for my daddy and missing him so fiercely, even after all this time.  He was tragically taken from us.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him, especially as Sarah gets older and shows some of her grandpa's traits.   Her sense of humor is so much like his and even my dear husband has traits in him that are so lovingly reminiscent of my father.  Both were/are strong family men, both have/had a keen sense of humor and both work/ed hard as providers for the family the love/d.  I am certainly blessed by God to have all these sweet memories to surround myself with and with the love I have been given. 

That being said, as if that pain of remembering and missing my dad wasn't enough, December 23 we lost Uncle Mike, Aunt Cheryl's significant other, after a brief illness.   Part of me was always prepared to get the phone call because of his long battle with alcoholism and leukemia, but I was not prepared for it at this time.  He was very young, just 40 years old.  While my head always knew that one day we would hear the dreaded call my heart was not ready for it. 

Uncle Mike
My cousins, Brandon and Dylan looked to him as the only father they really knew and the only constant male figure in their lives from a very young age (they were together 17+ years off and on, mostly on).  Mike was a kind man always to me and my family.  I know some out there might wonder why I feel such heartache at his passing, but I do.  Despite it all he was a kind man with a gentleness to him.  He always refer to himself as Uncle Mike and he tried.  The cards he was dealt in life were not kind, but he always had a smile and warm hug for Sarah and she will never know him as anything but her dear Uncle Mike.  He will be missed and I can honestly say I have shed tears over his passing and the deep loss my cousins feel.  My heart weeps with them.

Our finite minds can't understand and we shouldn't even try to understand the infinite mind of God the Father in heaven.  We just have to have faith.  It may seem impossible but turning it over to Him and just believing that He had his reasons for allowing it is a release.  It might not make sense now, or ever, but God knows all and works all things to good.  I may never know why my father was taken in such a tragic way, but I know that through prayer and faith it has and will continue to work to good.  God has His reasons.  The same is true of Uncle Mike. 

I know this was kind of heavy.....  sorry.....

Outfit I made Sarah for Christmas-- 
she got many compliments on it!
I am now sewing and doing some crafty items almost daily.  Please remember to check out the web site and the facebook page for that little experiment.  Sarah's Closet & More Facebook Fan Page and  Sarah's Closet & More Blog.  If you are a facebook fan look soon for a special fan code you can use on your next order. 

Until next time,

Happy New Year!  May 2012 be blessed and find you in good health!

Happy Tending!

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