Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The most virgin territory there is....

Is the future. I read that somewhere but it fails me where.

So what's all this about? Think about that mean kid at school, you know, the one that was always picking on people, especially people different then them self. Hopefully that wasn't you, but then again maybe it was you.

Bully bully. Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words will never harm me. It seems everywhere we look, every channel we turn on the television or listen to on the radio is talking about bullies.  Kids are being bullied, but do those bullies ever grow out of it?  Do they ever grow up and look back on their life and see their wrongs and try to make amends? 

I was bullied.  Looking back on it, some 20 years later I see I was bullied daily.  I hated school.  People made fun of me and I could go on and on about the reasons, but would it accomplish anything?  No.  That being said I thought I left bullies behind when I "grew up".  Then I had a child and seen the bullies emerge again, not always directed toward me, but often times toward other moms (why do the worst bullies seem to be other women?).  The things they bully about now have changed, maybe, and perhaps the grown up bullies have gotten more sophisticated, but they are bullies all the same. 

I guess there is one in every crowd.  The person that must always be on top, even when it means stepping on others to get there.  The ones that use emotions to get what they want, then the minute you develop some gumption they decide they can't be your friend any longer, etc.  Why do grown adults feel the need to behave this way?  In children we blame their home life, school, society, mass media view habits, but in adults we have no one to blame.  It's just plain meanness. 

I have no scientific studies to quote, just some observations.  Children imitate what the see.  The good and the bad.  Not a one of us is a perfect parent, I know I'm not, but I do the best I can at this moment in my life.  I try to treat others with kindness and show by example a helping spirit, with the hopes that my daughter will grow up knowing we should help others also.  Yes, children imitate the good and bad.  Those moms and dads that clamber up the social ladder stepping on all those people on the way up are just as much a bully as the runny nosed 10 year old on the playground stealing milk money.  A bully is anyone that  purposely tries to hurt another by actions and words.  A bully might hit to cause pain or use words that hurt and intimidate others.  A bully might be that mom in dance class that spreads a rumour (true or not) about you or your child to the other moms....  bullies come in all shapes and sizes.  Most of the adult bullies I have encountered bully in an effort to increase themselves by making others feel small or insignificant.  It's sad. 

So I guess the idea of this little soap box is a reminder to all of us that we need to treat others with kindness and to show some love toward our fellow parents.  We are all on this road, some of us on different paths, but it still has the same destination, raising happy healthy children. 

Oh and the point of the quote, The most virgin territory there is the future....  No one knows what the future brings.  The future is a blank canvas and it's up to you to decide what you will paint on that canvas.  What will you paint for your children to see?  It's up to you.

Tend your garden well my dear friends!  Let's love one another!

With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.  Ephesians 4:2

 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.  Hebrews 10:24

Happy Tending


  1. Sounds like you're on the same page as me re: Damien's circ. story. Women are just plain awful to one another. **hugs**

  2. Actually, L Ron Hubbard said that (about the future). Thought you may want to know. Nice blog.

    1. Thank you Carlos. And thank you for the nice comment.


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