Its on my side

Time that is.  I have time to change and refocus.  We all do; we just have to take the steps needed to get there. 

I struggle to get a handle on time.  Some days I seem to have it down pat and other days... well....  I seem to let it slip away but I do have some methods that generally work when I indeed follow through.

• No computer in the AM.  It really helps.  I'd even go so far as to say no media days are needed in every home in America.  Now, do I always do this?  No, but when I do I find I get more things done.
• Keeping the house picked up.  This is everyone's chore.  It really is.  We have goals to do this and sometimes we do it and sometimes we fail.  our goal is picking it up at night before we go to bed so we wake up and can get about our business.  Do you have routines like this in your home?
• Plan meals ahead and make sure that all the needed ingredients are on hand.  Oh this can save hours!  Really.  Literally hours a week can be spent pondering the pantry shelves and wondering what to eat and planning even a week at a time helps.  Of course all the planning in the world does nothing if you don't actually do it.
• Pick one day each week to do the shopping and then combine errands.  If there is a doctor appointment, try to have all the errands (as much as possible) on the same day.  Its a big time waster to have a doctor appoint on Tuesday and a homeschool outing on Thursday and then still have shopping to do on Friday.  When possible combining a few things work wonders.  It might make for one full day, but then the other days are free at home for fun and play (hence keeping the house picked up --what works for us is pick up in the PM and do ay small things in the early AM). 
• Listen.  Listen, I mean really listen, to those around you and communicate with them.  Don't just assume that they know what's going on in your head.  Odds are it will be completely wrong and pain is felt all around when this happens. 
• Making a list.  I work well with  a list to keep on task and focused.  I get a great sense of accomplishment when I cross off that item on the list....  Try it.  I often have lists before big projects and especially before trips.  Knock on wood, but rarely have I forgotten an item, because I can look and see it has been CROSSED OFF my list!
• Try to have down time in your week.  You may have to schedule it, but I think if we cut out media time and focus on Loved Ones Time (LOT) it automatically happens.  Plan to eat together, play games together, have family nights together where there is no TV, no internet...  Cut out the scheduled events and live a little flying by the seat of your pants. 

A typical "To Do" list at our home

What do you do to combat wasting time?

 

so life isn't cooperating you say...

Every plan you have made is falling through.  Your bucket has so many holes in it you can literally see your plans slipping away.  My husband tells me often that life happens when you're busy making other plans. 

I'm being truthfully and painfully honest here. Despite efforts, and even some headway into the waters, some things continue to be suckers of time in my life. They suck up time like the old gas hog we had when I was a kid. In fact I bet "Old Besty" ate less gas!

In the days before Internet and smart phones we did less multitasking, and in many ways I think a lot of times wasters come from doing too much and not focusing on one thing.  The projects we worked on got more of our attention before we had more technology; we had less time to waste, but we got more done.  We were happier, healthier, and finished what we started, as a general rule.

Today, as I promised, I am sharing what some of my biggest time wasters are and a little bit about why. 

Some of my time wasters are:

• Facebook:  While I don't play games, I see facebook as a big time waster in my day.  If I neglect checking it in the morning, my day goes much better.  Why is that?  Me thinks I need to refrain from checking Facebook in the morning.  After the first check, I end up needing to check often.  What did so and so say to that comment, what thread did so and so post....  Yep, its a downward spiral.  I am told that there are good aspects to facebook, and I do agree it can be good, but it sure can whittle away at the time.
• Traffic or driving to places:  To get anywhere I feel like I am in the car 15 to 20 minutes.  I'm not sure why but I do know it just seems to take forever to get to the store, to the bank, to the doctor.... 
• Saying yes to often:  To many activities.  To much to do, which really wears down my resolve to not get on facebook to try to unwind.  Multi-tasking, contrary to the now popular notion, is not good for us, our bodies, nor those who love us.  Forbes magazine, and several other sources have written articles on how it actually isn't good for us or our productivity, some major companies have even asked employees to focus on one task at a time in meetings, etc.  On one web site, LateralAction, an author even goes so far to say that "multitasking can reduce your performance level to that of a drunk?"  Wow.  Sobering thoughts as we multi-task ourselves into an early grave.  How many of us, have projects littering our desktops, to do lists, and education goals.  Now these aren't really bad things, when done with the right mind set and in moderation, but I am convinced that doing, doing, doing is hurting our families. 
• Not finishing up a task before starting another/procrastination:  This kind of goes with multitasking.  Its hard to really complete one task when you have 6 other pots on the stove.  When we have many things to do our mind can't focus, in fact studies have shown that most of us can only focus on 5-10 items at a time.  We really can't even do that much if we are doing something that asks for significant levels of brain power.  Just the other day I started cleaning about 3 things at once.  I started off picking up my coffee table, went into the kitchen to to get a rag and some lemon oil and ended up doing something else I seen and was on my short list for the day as well.....  am I alone?
• Not having everything I need in one place (i.e., where I can find it):  Looking for things take a lot of time and when you are in a hurry or not wanting to do something you end up frustrated and buying it again.  Not effective at all!
• Not communicating effectively:  Sadly, yes.  Arguing, pouting, etc. waste my time.  It generally comes from not effectively communicating.  I get so stressed from trying to multitask effectively (trying to keep up with everyone else) and keep my focus on XYZ that I get tired and worn out, and then I lash out.  Poking at the specks in others eyes takes a lot of time, especially while tripping over the beam in my own.  Its a cycle, and I hate that treadmill. 

It seems that a lot of it really boils down to putting my focus in the right place.....

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

Philippians 2:3-4

 

Are we doing this?  The better question is, AM I DOING THIS?

Next week (give or take) I will share my plan for combating these and the steps I have taken to address them.  What are some of your time wasters? 

Time to make time

I have discovered on this road of Simplification, that time and how I spend it is a key.   

Time is what we make of it.  I waste a lot of time that God has given me and I am making a plan to better harness the time He has given me.  I can use this time to focus on my family, I can use this time to focus on Him, or I can use this time to focus on Facebook (or other social media outlet).  How do you spend your time?  To be honest, my time is not often spent wisely; focusing on Him.  When I have my focus centered on Him, Yahweh God, who created the Heavens and Earth, I find my mind is better focused on my family. 

The Bible has a few things to say about what we do with our time. 

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but
as wise making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
~~Ephesians 5:15-16 (NASB)~~

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

~~Psalm 90:12 ~~

God isn't telling us to number our days by making lists of all the things we can fit into them.  He isn't telling us to have "TO DO LISTS" as long as your child's list of excuses for not cleaning their room when you told them.  Nay, He is telling us to use time management, but to do so wisely;  To do first what strengthens our walk in Him, and the rest will fall into place. If we look at it like we have to fit more into the day, will that make us wise? Nope, it will make us stressed, weaken our immune systems, and make us short tempered.  None of those things make us happy, healthy, and really it hurts our family and relationship with Him.  No one can sustain constant activity.

Much of our day, much of what we do, does little to edify and glorify God. 

Read Psalm 39:4-5.

LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am. Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity.

Life is short. This is what we are being told here.  Life is short and we need to be after God's heart.  Being after His heart doesn't mean being constantly busy with something.  They say idle hands are the tool of the devil, I disagree.  Idle MINDS that are not seeking Him are tools of the devil. Our Mind and Heart control our deeds.  When we fill our days with "STUFF" we lose focus and direction.  The Father's business is not stuff, and His business will never make us neglect being focused on Him and caring for our family, or ourselves.

Do you think you fill you days full of stuff?  Look within your heart and examine what kind of stuff are they full of and who is the time really for?  God doesn't expect that we never have down time, He did give us a sabbath after all,   What we need to do is use our time wisely.  I know I can use more work in that area.  How about you?  What steps do you think you can address to this end?  Next week, I will explore how my time is ate up by unwise decisions or time wasters and then address how to make my time matter. 

Its the steps baby...

What is simplification?  I mean the word can conjure up a lot of images; but what is it?  Since its my word and the goal I have set out to accomplish in my life during the next 12 months shouldn't I know what it is?

At first glance and even an Internet search on the term, we are thrown a bunch of math terms.  I don't know about you but math is not what I had in mind.  But what can we learn about simplification from a mathematical prespective?  Pause....  ok longer pause.... 

Ready?

A process by which something is transformed into something more simple.  Well, none of us want to be considered simple.  Is that why we balk at simplifying our lives? 

There are degrees of simplification.  Now in English, I would say, there are steps and you need to follow the steps to reach your simplified end (goal).  This process is called simplification.  See, from a mathematical perspective we can see that the process of becoming more in tune and even more mature in faith, or whatever you have undertaken takes steps and the steps can't be skipped.  There is a process.  You need to do things in steps, you can't accomplish it overnight.  Its a process, gentle friend.

Now you may be thinking that was a stretch to glean that from a mathematical view, but it makes perfect sense to me. 

This process will not happen overnight.  Its a goal of steps and at the end of it is a life more in tune with God's plan for me and my family.  Here's to steps!

Thus it begins

Its not always pretty, but its always real.

We are doing accountable kids, well, I am attempting to enforce it.  It really does get frustrating and this is one thing I want us to work on this year as we simplify our lives.  There has to be a way of making it work.  Send me your wisdom!  I wish I had the answers....

I think when it comes to my stress level, it can be traced back to a handful of things. 

• Procrastination
• Things; or rather an over abundance of some things, and lack of space to put them
• Over scheduling; the expectations of myself or others toward what should be done and when things need to be done.

Since getting injured I really have had to cut back and I get overwhelmed a lot easier.  Simplification is the key.  We need to streamline our schedules because I have a very hard time juggling a ton of tasks anymore.  I don't know if its age, abusing myself by multitasking for years, the pain I am generally in to some extent, or what but I really can't have all the pots in the fire that I use to.  Its hard to comes to grips with that inability.  Really hard. 


Simplification..... My one word for 2013

It's a process.  We have to make the effort to capture our hearts and minds.  One would think it was easy, and so many people not facing the task seem to think it is: I know, I was there once.  Its not easy though.  Its a whole mental thing and physical as well. 

I seem to have fallen into the trap in my adult life that to be constantly busy means I have worth.  Its true, think about it.  Many today measure their self worth by how many irons are in the fire.  Look at how we schedule our own children.  Many parents "complain" about their children's amount of activity, but are they really complaining or are they boasting?  Its a trap.  Then when we don't have our children in 120 different activities, and even schedule their summers as well with camps and activities to keep their minds occupied, we feel like we are failing.  We aren't.  Childhood is important and play is vital.  We have cut out a class ourselves.  Ballet is no longer on our schedule and while a part of me shudders, I also know that our family time is much more important.  It was a big decision we had to make this December.  I thought it would shatter Bear, but she is happy.  Her only worry was if stopping ballet class meant she couldn't dance at home anymore.... Silly Girl. 

The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple. Ps 119:130  and it does.  Allowing ourselves time to read and the quietness to listen is fundamental.  It doesn't mean you slack off and allow the world to float by.  But having a quietness means you have a peace and a patience.  How many people really have peace anymore?  Do we even know what it means or have we scheduled peace right out of our lives just like we have scheduled God out except for a couple hours on Sunday.  Ouch, hitting some sores I know. 

God needs to be flowing in every corner of our/my being.  We/I need to allow Him to work in our/my lives and I am the worst culprit.  I admit its very hard for me to lay it at the foot of the cross and walk away.  I have to learn to have that ability.  It doesn't mean forgiveness in the sense that we generally think of it, for I don't believe God forgives if we never ask for it.   I don't think he expects it of us.  Rather I need to work on acceptance.  I need to work on humility.  I can't make people ask for forgiveness, so I need to have a accepting heart that they just wont or can't and move on.  Its hard;  but I need to do this.  Acceptance will enable me to further simplify our family and my life. 

Really, when it gets down to it, if I made great inroads to this end and started with me, my family would follow.  You see, by me gaining simplification in my life first, worrying about myself not others,  the family would naturally follow.  That's why the buck stops here.  The rainbow I have discovered is this knowledge.  I can work on me.  I can do this, and when I do the family will naturally follow. But I have to start with me first. 

So it begins....  what the day started with was pain and dismay that my child was being unruly and I was failing as a mother and now I have a sense of peace after seeking His word and talking about it.  I'm not perfect and the potter isn't finished with me yet, but I am growing and learning.

One reason so many Christians today are worn out and faint is because their lives are complicated.  -- Joyce Meyer

A special thank you to Only a Breath and Melanie. We are linking up with her and her One Word for 2013. She graciously provided the graphic for my word.

On the cusp

Yes my gentle friends, we are on the brink; the brink of saying good bye to the old year and hello to 2013.  What will 2013 bring you and your family?  Will you be making changes into your health and life style?  Or will you be seeking more family time and becoming more "spiritual" or rather, closer to God?  I think many of us are seeking to be more in tune with God's will for us and our families. 

Simplification; That's something we are working on in our family and to this end, it means we will be also seeking to be healthier in our diets and habits as well as healthier in our home, closer to God, and more loving (dwelling on being servers or servants to others... ie., hospitable and charitable).  Last year we did our Big Twenty Bag Challenge.  It was a great start, and we did continue on through the year.  We cleared out the basement and turned it into use able space which was such a huge blessing to us. 

What are some things you are working on this next year?  The key is to do attainable and sustainable goals. 

In early March I have agreed to write for Trisha at Intoxicated On Life.  I am excited to share a struggle I had as a new mom in today's world.  I was thrown to the wolves in Mommyville, unprepared and unknowing;  I hope to share my struggle with other women and let them know that its ok.  It's ok.

The year ahead is a clean slate.  Its up to you what you make of it.  You can forge ahead and blaze a trail all your own, or stay right where you are.  The choice is yours. 

Happy New Year!

A few upcoming goals

Bear got a new to her American Girl doll as a very early December Christmas present.  I honestly seen no big issue giving it early when we won the bid on eBay.   One of my goals is to include periodic updates on Felicity's Learning Adventures with Bear by her side.  That will be a new 2013 endeavor and one I hope readers will enjoy.  Sometimes Bear's BFF's AG, Rosie, will be joining us.  Yes, Adelle got an AG as well....  those girls!  *grin*  This will be fun, I think!  It will put a whole new spin on our education adventures.  If you have an American Girl and local, maybe we can plan a big summertime play-date!

ABOUT FELCITY:

Felicity (nicknamed Lissie) is a spunky, brave, and independent-minded girl. She is very active for a girl her age in her era and is annoyed at her lack of freedom as a young girl and the ladylike things and personality that is expected of her. Felicity believes in fighting for what she wants and can be quite stubborn and headstrong at times.  She is often decribed as  "independent", "loyal", and "spirited".  ((Felicity Merriman)

Oh this is Bear to a T.

Another goal is to post more often about our ongoing act of simplifying our lives and eating more simply, or wholesome, whole, clean, whatever the new buzz word is in my snicker bar world....  So anyway, the act of simplifying our lives, in all aspects, not just eating.  But in our outlooks, our way of approaching life. 

We will also be including more home-crafts and write about those.  Its part of my garden too!

So those are a few of the plans we have for 2013!  Have you started making plans for your new year?